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N.
York Feb 21, 1831
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Dear
Sir —
In spite of all my resolution to the contrary I am
obliged once more to recur to you for assistance — It will however be
the last time that I ever trouble any human being — I feel that I am on
sick bed from which I never
shall get up. I now make an appeal not to
your affection because I have lost that but to your sense of justice. I
wrote to you for permission to resign — because it was impossible that
I could stay — my ear has
been too shocking for any description — I am
wearing away every day — even if my last sickness had not completed it.
I wrote to you as I say for permission to resign because without your
permission no resignation can be received — My reason for doing so was
that I should obtain my mileage amounting to $30,35 — according to the
rules of the institution. in my present circumstances a single dollar
is of more importance >>to me<< than 10,000 are to you and
you deliberately refused to
answer my letter — I, as I told you,
neglected my duty when I found it impossible to attend to it, and [page
2:] the consequences were inevitable — dismissal. I have been
dismissed
— when a single line from you would have saved it — The whole academy
have interested themselves in my behalf because my only crime was being
sick — but it was
of no use — I refer you to Col Thayer to the public
records, for my standing and reputation for talent — but it was all in
vain if you had granted me permission to resign — all might have been
avoided — I have not strength nor energy left to write half what I feel
— You one day or other will feeel
[[sic]]
how you have treated me. I left
[West] Point two days ago and travelling to N. York without a cloak or
any other clothing of importance. I have caught a most violent cold and
am confined to my bed — I have no money — no friends — I have written
to my brother — but he cannot help me — I shall never rise from my bed
— besides a most violent cold on my lungs my ear discharges blood and
matter continuall[y] and my headache is distracting — I hardly know
what I am writing — I will [page 3:]
write no more — Please send me a
little money — quickly — and forget what I said about you —
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do [[sic]] not say a word to
my sister.
I shall send to the P.O. every day.
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