We will say, then, that I am mad. I
grant, at least, that there are
two distinct conditions of my mental existence — the condition of a
lucid
reason, not to be disputed, and belonging to the memory of events
forming
the first epoch of my life — and a condition of shadow and doubt,
appertaining
to the present, and to the recollection of what constitutes the second
great era of my being. Therefore, what I shall tell of the earlier
period,
believe; and to what I may relate of the later time, give only such
credit
as may seem due; or doubt it altogether; or, if doubt it ye cannot,
then
play unto its riddle the Oedipus.
[page 447:]
She whom I loved in youth, and of whom I
now pen calmly and
distinctly
these remembrances, was the sole daughter of the only sister of my
mother
long departed. Eleonora was the name of my cousin. We had always
dwelled
together, beneath a tropical sun, in the Valley of the Many-Colored
Grass.
No unguided footstep ever came upon that vale; for it lay far away up
among
a range of giant hills that hung beetling around about it, shutting out
the sunlight from its sweetest recesses. No path was trodden in its
vicinity;
and, to reach our happy home, there was need of putting back, with
force,
the foliage of many thousands of forest trees, and of crushing to death
the glories of many millions of fragrant flowers. Thus it was that we
lived
all alone, knowing nothing of the world without the valley, — I, and my
cousin, and her mother.
From the dim regions beyond the
mountains at the upper end of our
encircled
domain, there crept out a narrow and deep river, brighter than all save
the eyes of Eleonora; and, winding stealthily about in mazy courses, it
passed away, at length, through a shadowy gorge, among hills still
dimmer
than those whence it had issued. We called it the "River of Silence;"
for
there seemed to be a hushing influence in its flow. No murmur arose
from
its bed, and so gently it wandered along, that the pearly pebbles upon
which we loved to gaze, far down within its bosom, stirred not at all,
but lay in a motionless content, each in its own old station, shining
on
gloriously forever.
The margin of the river, and of the many
dazzling rivulets that
glided
through devious ways into its channel, as well as the spaces that
extended
from the margins away down into the depths of the streams until they
reached
the bed of pebbles at the bottom, — these spots, not less than the
whole
surface of the valley, from the river to the mountains that girdled it
in, were carpeted all by a soft green grass, thick, short, perfectly
even,
and vanilla-perfumed, but so besprinkled throughout with the yellow
buttercup,
the white daisy, the purple violet, and the ruby-red asphodel, that its
exceeding beauty spoke to our hearts in loud tones, of the love and of
the glory of God.
And, here and there, in groves about
this grass, like wildernesses
of
dreams, sprang up fantastic trees, whose tall slender stems stood
[page
448:] not
upright,
but slanted gracefully towards the light that peered at noon-day into
the
centre of the valley. Their bark was speckled with the vivid alternate
splendor of ebony and silver, and was smoother than all save the cheeks
of Eleonora; so, that but for the brilliant green of the huge leaves
that
spread from their summits in long, tremulous lines, dallying with the
Zephyrs,
one might have fancied them giant serpents of Syria doing homage to
their
Sovereign the Sun.
Hand in hand about this valley, for
fifteen years, roamed I with
Eleonora
before Love entered within our hearts. It was one evening at the close
of the third lustrum of her life, and of the fourth of my own, that we
sat, locked in each other's embrace, beneath the serpent-like trees,
and
looked down within the waters of the River of Silence at our images
therein.
We spoke no words during the rest of that sweet day; and our words even
upon the morrow were tremulous and few. We had drawn the god Eros from
that wave, and now we felt that he had enkindled within us the fiery
souls
of our forefathers. The passions which had for centuries distinguished
our race, came thronging with the fancies for which they had been
equally
noted, and together breathed a delirious bliss over the Valley of the
Many-Colored
Grass. A change fell upon all things. Strange, brilliant flowers,
star-shaped,
burst out upon the trees where no flowers had been known before. The
tints
of the green carpet deepened; and when, one by one, the white daisies
shrank
away, there sprang up in place of them, ten by ten of the ruby-red
asphodel.
And life arose in our paths; for the tall flamingo, hitherto unseen,
with
all gay glowing birds, flaunted his scarlet plumage before us. The
golden
and silver fish haunted the river, out of the bosom of which issued,
little
by little, a murmur that swelled, at length, into a lulling melody more
divine than that of the harp of Æolus — sweeter than all save the
voice
of Eleonora. And now, too, a voluminous cloud, which we had long
watched
in the regions of Hesper, floated out thence, all gorgeous in crimson
and
gold, and settling in peace above us, sank, day by day, lower and
lower,
until its edges rested upon the tops of the mountains, turning all
their
dimness into magnificence, and shutting us up, as if forever, within a
magic prison-house of grandeur and of glory.
[page 449:]
The loveliness of Eleonora was that of
the Seraphim; but she was a
maiden
artless and innocent as the brief life she had led among the flowers.
No
guile disguised the fervor of love which animated her heart, and she
examined
with me its inmost recesses as we walked together in the Valley of the
Many-Colored Grass, and discoursed of the mighty changes which had
lately
taken place therein.
At length, having spoken one day, in
tears, of the last sad change
which
must befall Humanity, she thenceforward dwelt only upon this one
sorrowful
theme, interweaving it into all our converse, as, in the songs of the
bard
of Schiraz, the same images are found occurring, again and again, in
every
impressive variation of phrase.
She had seen that the finger of Death
was upon her bosom — that,
like
the ephemeron, she had been made perfect in loveliness only to die; but
the terrors of the grave to her, lay solely in a consideration which
she
revealed to me, one evening at twilight, by the banks of the River of
Silence.
She grieved to think that, having entombed her in the Valley of the
Many-Colored
Grass, I would quit forever its happy recesses, transferring the love
which
now was so passionately her own to some maiden of the outer and
every-day
world. And, then and there, I threw myself hurriedly at the feet of
Eleonora,
and offered up a vow, to herself and to Heaven, that I would never bind
myself in marriage to any daughter of Earth — that I would in no
manner
prove recreant to her dear memory, or to the memory of the devout
affection
with which she had blessed me. And I called the Mighty Ruler of the
Universe
to witness the pious solemnity of my vow. And the curse which I invoked
of
Him and of her, a saint in Helusion, should I prove
traitorous to
that
promise, involved a penalty the exceeding great horror of which will
not
permit me to make record of it here. And the bright eyes of Eleonora
grew
brighter at my words; and she sighed as if a deadly burthen had been
taken
from her breast; and she trembled and very bitterly wept; but she made
acceptance of the vow, (for what was she but a child?) and it made easy
to her the bed of her death. And she said to me, not many days
afterwards,
tranquilly dying, that, because of what I had done for the comfort of
her
spirit she would watch over me
[page 450:] in that spirit when
departed, and, if so
it were permitted her return to me visibly in the watches of the night;
but, if this thing were, indeed, beyond the power of the souls in
Paradise,
that she would, at least, give me frequent indications of her presence;
sighing upon me in the evening winds, or filling the air which I
breathed
with perfume from the censers of the angels. And, with these words upon
her lips, she yielded up her innocent life, putting an end to the first
epoch of my own.
Thus far I have faithfully said. But as
I pass the barrier in Time's
path, formed by the death of my beloved, and proceed with the second
era
of my existence, I feel that a shadow gathers over my brain, and I
mistrust
the perfect sanity of the record. But let me on. — Years dragged
themselves
along heavily, and still I dwelled within the Valley of the
Many-Colored
Grass; but a second change had come upon all things. The star-shaped
flowers
shrank into the stems of the trees, and appeared no more. The tints of
the green carpet faded; and, one by one, the ruby-red asphodels
withered
away; and there sprang up, in place of them, ten by ten, dark, eye-like
violets, that writhed uneasily and were ever encumbered with dew. And
Life
departed from our paths; for the tall flamingo flaunted no longer his
scarlet
plumage before us, but flew sadly from the vale into the hills, with
all
the gay glowing birds that had arrived in his company. And the golden
and
silver fish swam down through the gorge at the lower end of our domain
and bedecked the sweet river never again. And the lulling melody that
had
been softer than the wind-harp of Æolus, and more divine than all
save
the voice of Eleonora, it died little by little away, in murmurs
growing
lower and lower, until the stream returned, at length, utterly, into
the
solemnity of its original silence. And then, lastly, the voluminous
cloud
uprose, and, abandoning the tops of the mountains to the dimness of
old,
fell back into the regions of Hesper, and took away all its manifold
golden
and gorgeous glories from the Valley of the Many-Colored Grass.
Yet the promises of Eleonora were not
forgotten; for I heard the
sounds
of the swinging of the censers of the angels; and streams of a holy
perfume
floated ever and ever about the valley; and at lone hours, when my
heart
beat heavily, the winds that
[page 451:] bathed my brow came
unto me laden with
soft
sighs; and indistinct murmurs filled often the night air; and once —
oh,
but once only! I was awakened from a slumber, like the slumber of
death,
by the pressing of spiritual lips upon my own.
But the void within my heart refused,
even thus, to be filled. I
longed
for the love which had before filled it to overflowing. At length the
valley
pained me through its memories of Eleonora, and I
left it forever for
the vanities and the turbulent triumphs of the world.
I found myself within a strange city,
where all things might have
served
to blot from recollection the sweet dreams I had dreamed so long in the
Valley of the Many-Colored Grass. The pomps and pageantries of a
stately
court, and the mad clangor of arms, and the radiant loveliness of
woman,
bewildered and intoxicated my brain. But as yet my soul had proved true
to its vows, and the indications of the presence of Eleonora were still
given me in the silent hours of the night. Suddenly, these
manifestations
they ceased; and the world grew dark before mine eyes; and I stood
aghast
at the burning thoughts which possessed — at the terrible temptations
which
beset me; for there came from some far, far distant and unknown land,
into
the gay court of the king I served, a maiden to whose beauty my whole
recreant
heart yielded at once — at whose footstool I bowed down without a
struggle,
in the most ardent, in the most abject worship of love. What indeed
was
my passion for the young girl of the valley in comparison with the
fervor,
and the delirium, and the spirit-lifting ecstasy of adoration with
which
I poured out my whole soul in tears at the feet of the ethereal
Ermengarde? — Oh, bright was the seraph Ermengarde! and in that
knowledge I had
room
for none other. — Oh, divine was the angel Ermengarde! and as I looked
down into the depths of her memorial eyes, I thought only of them —
and
of her.
I wedded; — nor dreaded the curse I had
invoked; and its bitterness
was not visited upon me. And once — but once again in the silence of
the
night, there came through my lattice the soft sighs which had forsaken
me; and they modelled themselves into familiar and sweet voice, saying —
"Sleep in peace! — for the Spirit of
Love reigneth and ruleth, and,
in taking to thy passionate heart her who is Ermengarde, thou art
absolved,
for reasons which shall be made known to thee in Heaven, of thy vows
unto
Eleonora."