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[[The Lighthouse]]
Jan 1 — 1796. This day — my first on the
light-house — I make
this
entry in my Diary, as agreed on with De Grät. As regularly as I can
keep the journal, I will — but there is no telling what
may happen
to a man all alone as I am — I may get sick, or worse . . . . . So far
well ! The cutter had a narrow escape — but why dwell on that, since I
am here, all safe? My spirits are beginning to revive already,
at
the mere thought of being — for once in my life at least — thoroughly alone;
for, of course, Neptune, large as he is, is not to be
taken into
consideration
as "society". Would to Heaven I had ever found in "society" one half as
much faith as in this poor dog: — in such case I and "society"
might
never have parted — even for the year . . . What most surprises me, is
the difficulty De Grät had in getting me the appointment — and I a
noble of the realm ! It could not be that the Consistory had any doubt
of my ability to manage the light. One man had attended it
before
now — and got on quite as well as [page 2:] the
three
that are usually put in. The duty is a mere nothing; and the printed
instructions
are as plain as possible. It never would have done to let Orndoff
accompany
me. I never should have made any way with my book as long as he was
within
reach of me, with his intolerable gossip — not to mention that
everlasting
mëerschaum. Besides, I wish to be alone . . . . . . It is
strange
that I never observed, until this moment, how dreary a sound that word
has — "alone" ! I could half fancy there was some peculiarity in the
echo
of these cylindrical walls — but oh, no! — this is all nonsense. I do
believe
I am going to get nervous about my insulation. That will never
do.
I have not forgotten De Grät's prophecy. Now for a scramble to the
lantern and a good look around to "see what I can see" . . . . . . . .
. . . . . . . To see what I can see indeed ! — not very much. The swell
is subsiding a little, I think — but the cutter will have a rough
passage
home, nevertheless. She will hardly get within sight of the Norland
before
noon to-morrow — and yet it can hardly be more than 190 or 200 miles.
.Jan.2. I have passed this day in a species of
ecstasy that I
find impossible [page 3:] to describe. My passion
for
solitude could scarcely have been more thoroughly gratified. I do not
say satisfied; for I believe I should never be satiated
with such
delight
as I have experienced to-day . . . . . . . . . The wind lulled about
day-break,
and by the afternoon the sea had gone down materially . . . . . Nothing
to be seen, with the telescope even, but ocean and sky, with an
occasional
gull.
Jan. 3. A dead calm all day. Towards evening,
the sea looked
very much like glass. A few sea-weeds came in sight; but besides them
absolutely nothing all day — not even the slightest speck of
cloud. . . .
.
. . . Occupied myself in exploring the light-house . . . . It is a very
lofty one — as I find to my cost when I have to ascend its interminable
stairs — not quite 160 feet, I should say, from the low-water mark to
the
top of the lantern. From the bottom inside the shaft, however,
the
distance to the summit is 180 feet at least: — thus the floor is 20
feet
below the surface of the sea, even at low-tide . . . . . . It seems to
me that the hollow interior at the bottom should have been filled in
with
solid masonry. Undoubtedly the whole would have been thus rendered more
safe: — but what am I thinking about? A structure
such as this
is
safe enough under any circumstances. I should feel myself secure [page
4:] in it during the fiercest
hurricane that
ever raged — and yet I have heard seamen say occasionally, with a wind
at South-West, the sea has been known to run higher here than any where
with the single exception of the Western opening of the Straits of
Magellan.
No mere sea, though, could accomplish anything with this solid
iron-riveted
wall — which, at 50 feet from high-water mark, is four feet thick, if
one
inch . . . . . . . . The basis on which the structure rests seems to me
to be chalk . . . . . .
Jan 4.
[. . . . Here, the manuscript fragment ends.] |
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